NYC Saga Part 1: The Trip

*The scene dissolves from black to appear before us. We see Rob and his sister, Kate, engaged in conversation. The two appear to be driving down a dark desert highway the thruway en route to NYC. It is dusk. Bruno Mars is playing on the radio. 
*Camera transitions from outside overhead view to dashboard. Characters improv for a bit to establish dialogue that they are in deep conversation. 
*Camera pans from Kate to Rob, slowly. Pauses for several seconds as Rob continues to talk. Suddenly, Rob notices the camera.
Rob: (pleasant, Billy Mays-esque approachability in voice) Why, hello there! I didn't notice you, please take a seat. (Motions cup holder next to him) I'm glad you could join us today, we have quite a show scheduled. Don't we little sis?
Kate: (Camera pans to Kate, as she is singing Bruno Mars. She stops abruptly after two lines. ) Sure do. You know, I really don't like Bruno Mars that much, his music gets old fast.
Rob: Anyways, like I said we have a fun show today. We will be joined by Adam Sandler, skanky bitches, and  (Kate interjects, singing "What you don't understand, is I'd catch a grenade for ya") -and lots of Bruno Mars apparently.
*The camera pans back slowly to take in the entire scene. The two characters return to the conversation. An 80's styles montage sequence begins, and covers the highlights of the next four hours of leg cramps and self induced UTI's because of the young peoples' refusal to stop at rest areas, ever.

It's 5 oclock,  and my sister and I are currently driving to NYC/Long Island to visit college friends. 

This trip is sandwiched in between weekends of camping. As  I have said before, I have been leading a lot
 of camping trips of various sizes this summer, really drawing on my experiences in the Outdoors club and my backcountry medicine class.
I've thinking next summer about going into WEMS. It would be perfect since I love the outdoors, and plan on going into medicine, something I just decided I was going to do after taking backcountry medicine. That decision has made me way more confident about life then I was before.
I thought about medicine briefly back in 8th grade, when everyone was forced to take the lovely "Career Personality" quizzes back in Home Ec. You know, in between sewing bald eagles and making crumbles.

But I have never been too comfortable with gore.

I always enjoyed Tech class, and physics really interests me, so when that time came in highschool I was like, yea I will do something with physics. Which meant engineering, but soldering stuff sucks unless its your girlfriend's hair. To be honest, I really just wanted to be a mad scientist.
I got interested in medicine again, and emergency medicine specifically after taking this backcountry class. I still don't care too much for blood, but don't you worry fp's! I plan on watching all of the SAW movies back to back, Alex Delarge style.

Typical ER

Watching those would desensitize better than the Miracle of Life.

Don't ever google 'crowning'          from quotemonk

It's interesting to note how much you can tell about the current culture by looking at the cars around you. Now, you COULD turn on the tv for five minutes to see that we glorify stupidity and obsessively look at others lives, or you could look at the nearest minivan.

from thingstohate

These things aren't exactly a fringe market either. Worldwide they generate more money then the GDP of Egypt, and in England alone it is estimated more money is spent on them then dental, which really shouldn't surprise anyone.
Even NASA is looking for a way to cash in, as the last launch of the space shuttle will have the little buggers crazy glued to the back to confuse the hell out of aliens.
The premise is cool, and if my kid made something like that in arts and crafts, hell yeah I would put that shit on my bumper too. But your kid didn't make it, because your twelve year old still thinks people have 7 fingers and green skin. So instead you are paying money for some others kids  (It doesn't even have that much going for it, there is actually a machine forced to draw in such a humiliating manner that all but ensures that when the robot uprising happens, its going to be violent) shitty artwork.
Every suburban mom you see driving a van like this forces that information down your throat while driving 73 mph down the highway. 

LOOK AT MY ADORABLE FOAL     from myspaceantics

I have to admit, I am glad we are in my sisters new Civic, and not mine. The air conditioner in my car blows out air that is maybe 5 degrees colder then normal, tops. Which is great if its 74 out and you're just slightly uncomfortable, but if its 105, then the air coming out is still hotter then the human body and that basically the definition of being slow roasted. (This trip was the weekend of July 23 ie the weekend of the huge heatwave in NY. )
7PM, we ate dinner at a Nathan's on the road. For being world famous, they kind of suck dick.

The Pun Monster, the boggart of cheap humor.

Bruno Mars just came on again. Kate just finished singing the entire song.
"You know I don't really like that song very much."
Yeah that's what everyone says.
Speaking of going to NY, I hate how everyone thinks it means the city. In fact I hate the mentality of city people in general. The majority of Binghamton attendees are from NYC or LI. And according to them, and basically anyone in the world not from the STATE OF NEW YORK, if you say you live in NY, that means the city. Literally, to them its like the other 98.7% of the state is a barren wasteland. Or in their own words "You're from Syracuse? What burrough is that in? Oh, its upstate? What do you do up there once all the cows are tipped over?" And shit, I actually made them sound smarter then they are. I actually get into huge fights with people about this, because they are also all stubborn as hell in their belief that no town in upstate is big enough to have more then a sheriff. And furthermore HOLY SHIT THERE'S A DOG

I was going to make an infographic to show "How New York Looks to People From NYC" but then I realized it would be boring as hell. Because it would be empty. Like their skulls. I'll leave you with a simple geography lesson:

THIS IS UPSTATE NEW YORK. ITS CALLED THE ADIRONDACK PARK, AND FOR ASKING IF THE MOUNTAINS ARE TALLER THEN THE "WICKED BIG ROCK IN CENTRAL PARK" I HOPE YOU GET EATEN BY A GLACIER
IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW MANY METROCARDS WITH .13 CENTS ON THEM YOU NEED TO GET FROM JAIMACA TO ST MARKS, YOU KNOW HOW TO FIND THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. THIS HOT STRETCH IS CALLED CENTRAL MOTHERFUCKING NEW YORK BECAUSE ITS IN THE CENTER OF UPSTATE AND DOWNSTATE. AS IN SOUTH OF UPSTATE. IF I COULD USE DOUBLE CAPSLOCK
I FUCKING WOULD.
THERE IS A REASON THIS IS CALLED THE SOUTHERN TIER. AND ITS NOT BECAUSE THE WHISKEY'S GONE. IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO CALL THIS UPSTATE NY, EXPLAIN TO THE FOLKS IN TURTLEPOINT WHO THE HELL IS TEABAGGING THEM IN THE FOREHEAD. OH SORRY, YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE BARBARIC ICECARLS.
I HOPE YOU GET MAULED BY TURTLES. 

I have to spend the next 4 days with these people.